The New Girl

A new face walked in today. It just so happened that Luka and Julianne were over by our station, the four of us were double-checking some facts concerning the longterm effects of buckshot lodged in the heart.

I noticed her first. Small, dark curly hair, glasses, great bone structure. A face that had that wonderful combination of cute and stern. The other three were flipping through folders while I stopped and gazed at her. Really, really cute.

"Peter," Luka's voice cut through my reverie, "Do you have the "Gun's n' Ammo" report on you?"

"Yeah, sorry, I think so," I hastily fumbled around the clutter on my desk. Luka, ever observant, noticed what I had been doing. He tilted his head down, slightly.

"Who is she?" he asked after a pause, clearly as taken as I was, if not more.

"I don't know," I answered slowly, "but there is something familiar about her, I just can't put my finger on it."

Julianne and Jordan were deep in discussion, heads bent together, so Luka and I watched the new girl for a bit, neither of us saying anything.

She was looking around her cubicle, a small furrow between her eyes. Her gaze then traveled along the walls, and up to the ceiling, where she stopped, and a small shudder went through her body. She continued her survey, her eyes passing right over and slightly above us, it seemed that she was not looking at any of the people, she was covering the workspace, inch by inch. She did not look happy at all.

Then it hit me. I grabbed Luka's arm.

"I know who she is, OH MY GOD, oh my god!!!!"

What A Difference A Day Makes

Okay, I had a bad toothache, a few days ago they sent me to the Emergency Dental Center here - it's kind of creepy and chaotic. I felt like I was in the purgatory scene in "Beetlejuice".

Anyway, they knocked me out, yanked my teeth around, woke me up, doped me up, and sent me home, where I slept for about four days, only to wake up and find out that the Vice President shot his hunting buddy!

God, don't go to sleep for too long these days. If I weren't finally awake and cognizent, I'd think it was the drugs talking.

I have a theory, I think Cheney did it on purpose to knock Mikey off of the front page.

Cant you just hear it?

Rove, "I hate to ask, Dick, I really do, but Brownie is all over the media, yammering on and on and pointing the finger at US, the ungrateful little snot."

Cheney," It's no problem Karl, honestly, don't give it a second thought. Harry's not really a friend, he's just a fat wallet that I had just about emptied anyway. It's a no-brainer."

BAM!!!!!!!!

Or maybe it was more patriotic than that - Cheney was just trying to reduce the burden on Social Security by offing a 78-year old.

Hmmm.

The silent High-five

We are all so happy here today. Michael "Brownie" Brown finally got sick of being the scapegoat for the failure of FEMA and their response to "Katrina" and bit back yesterday. GO BROWNIE! He is a hero down here! In fact, we have made a pact to stop calling him "Brownie" he obviously does not like it. So, GO MIKEY!!

See, we are so often the scapegoats when they test meds on us and then they don't work on some public figure - WE get blamed! Isn't that insane? Where's the logic? When Librex was tested on all of us (whether we had spastic colons or not) and it worked, they chose it to help President Bush stop smirking. Well, guess what - he didn't, and they blame us. It is not our fault that the President has a spastic brain AND colon.

So, when they blamed the whole hurricane disaster on one guy, it really felt like a load of crap.

(After all, he was the ONLY government official to have the guts show his face on "Nightline" to get blasted by Ted Koppel - the rest of the administration was hiding like chickenshits).

He got complimented publicly by Bush on the great job he was doing, then canned a week later.

Nice.

So finally, Michael Brown is speaking out and saying that indeed, it was a load of ca-ca.

AND, Some high ranking folks lashed out at President Bush yesterday during Coretta Scott Kings memorial. More on that later. It's all so good. We are feeling so good, and this is without meds.

Maybe there is hope for humanity after all.

The Teether Info Is Out

Okay, I am dying of laughter. A few days ago, the magazine DeadBrain wrote a featured article about the contaminated teether recall, and let it spill that everyone in the White House sucks on a teether, and has their particular favorites. This DeadBrain reporter who writes the health report seems to try and write about what is really going on, even though the P.R. people here are ALWAYS denying the allegations. I wish we could somehow get in touch with that reporter and feed them more information. I have to write that on my "to do" list.

One of the things they do not know is that Dr. Eudaimonia and his circle of cronies provide those teethers to the White House, and the teethers have been treated with an assortment of medications that the administration don't know they are ingesting. And guess who gives that order? Barbara Bush and Karl Rove.

Go to:

DeadBrain

Read "The Health Report" - Breaking News - President Bush's favorite teether recalled for contamination.

The information is incomplete, but it is accurate, believe me.

I am sending RayMan on a mission to find this reporter.

State of the Union Speech report 2006

I am sitting at my desk, after showing my report to Jordan, Julianne, Luka and Renee. We read each other's and started laughing. We had all written the same thing.

The REAL report:
He is lying - delusional - not taking his Librium.
Threatening Iran - aggressive - obviously cut back on the Thorazine
Looks very healthy - must be using very expensive self tanning lotion.
And the line,"peed the feeples" instead of feed the people's - - drunk, stoned, or a moron.

Off they go into the shredder.

The WME wants to hear that President Bush is doing a spectacular job, and since he didn't fall down, mangle sentences SO badly (just one or two), drop his dog, try to open a door that was locked, trip on his way to the podium, the report will give him an A+ all down the line.

The REQUIRED report:
President Bush is on point, inspirational, and the greatest leader we have ever had. The End.

Someday I want to turn in the real report, but then I would wind up like poor Anna and Sam. Glassy eyed, smiling, not many words except for, "Yes of course! My pleasure! No problem!" Anything I can do to help!"

They have the Stepford Chip in their heads. Jordan is trying to figure out a way to get it out, but it's complicated, and will take time.

I just can't risk it, tempting as it is. I have to keep reminding myself that we have an escape plan in motion.