The New Girl, part 2

"Peter!" Jordan looked up from his conversation with Julianne. "What is your problem? I have not seen you this hysterical since you spotted Jackie Collins at Bloomingdale's last year".

I could hardly breathe. "The new girl, over there, the..." I pointed and Luka grabbed my arm.

'Rude!" he said sharply.

Inhaling slowly I focused on the three of them.

"That, my friends, is Franny G., of the Department of Homeland Homes and Gardens."

Luka and Jordan stared at me, clueless, but Julianne gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Why is she down here?" Julianne whispered, her eyes huge. "Just BEING down here could literally kill the poor woman."

We all looked over at Franny, who seemed to be trying to take her own deep breaths. We watched as she slowly sat down, taking off her glasses and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I know they dissolved the Department around the first of the year, but why would they send her here?" Julianne persisted. "Do you think maybe they are finally going to make this hellhole livable?"

I snorted. "Are you kidding? Does she look happy, like a person rolling up her sleeves to renovate? No."

"Guys?" Jordan cut in, "Care to fill us in on this Franny G.? Sorry, but I'm lost."

I shook my head sadly. "Jordan, do you think my gorgeous apartment just happened on its own? Do you think my coming over to your place with tea lights and throw pillows was some sort of creative whim? It was ALL suggestions and pointers from Franny G. She is renowned for her decorating tips, and if it were not for her, you would STILL be in that horrible Eighties glass-and-chrome cell you called home.

That woman was number one at the Department of Homeland Homes and Gardens, she worked hand in hand with the Department Director, Kenneth H. Kenneth, fighting the terror of home decor. She is the living, breathing "Do" and "Don't" when it comes to creating the showpiece, the absolute end in good taste, I, I could go on all day...."

"Shh!" Luka whispered. "She's coming this way."