A FEW GOOD MEDS

My little underground excursion out of the full clutches of the Weapons of Mass Euphoria drug testing facility has gathered a few followers, and it's really nice to have the camaraderie and the company and solidarity in the knowledge that we are doing the right thing, but today we are anxiety-riddled, depressed and having an overall group freak out. This week we get evaluated. A full job write up, everything from performance, loyalty, obedience, and punctuality to being slaves at the monthly S&M parties. We think we have done exemplary work, but then we see some of our co-workers going the extra mile, staying late, wearing the little maids outfits on Fridays, while we sneak off for a "drink". One of the upper staff asked yesterday why we went out for drinks when we knew that since every single drug that we use clearly stresses avoiding alcohol - Oh god! I though I was going to have a heart attack. Luckily Jordan answered smartly that we were all enjoying Virgin Marys and Shirley Temples, nothing more. This staff member, Secretary to Someone, I cant keep any of it straight anymore, looked unconvinced, but what could she say? She just gave us the hairy eyeball and suggested we start putting in some overtime.

They're on to us, I know it. We're all going to get canned, and I don't mean fired.

My hands were shaking so badly that I finally had to go to the lunchroom and pour myself a nice cup of coffee and grab some Xanax from the candy dish.

Maybe I should have stayed in the film business.